Sunday, 21 January 2018

Competitive Parenting

The article 'Don't Fall into the Trap of Competitive Parenting' published in Todayonline reminds me not to be a kiasu parent. I do not think I have intentionally been one, but the environment is such that there is competition everywhere.

J joins an Aesthetics group in school as his CCA. To participate in the SYF, the students have to undergo an audition and they need to get at least 30 out of 40 marks. The instructor was nice and gave extra practice sessions to those at lower grades. The audition has not taken place, but I feel sorry for those who are excluded. I guess this is reality, and the best are always chosen. However, such a thing never happened to me in the past - I was in the choir in JC and all of us took part in the SYF. I would have been sad to be excluded after being part of the group and rehearsing with it.

In Singapore, the International Baccalaureate (IB) education is offered to the very clever, the very rich or the very talented.

Also, it is astonishing how people associate children's every behaviour with parenting. At a talk for parents at J's school, the speaker mentioned that many students in the school are very confident and vocal and she congratulated the parents for teaching them well.

When I shared with a loved one the achievements of my friend's children, her response was "Of course they will do well. The mother '这么会培养'。What she meant was that the mother was willing to spend thousands of dollars each month on the kids' enrichment classes. I remarked that my children are well 培养 (nurtured) by me without much expenditure, but her statement deflated me somehow. Nevertheless, I still send my children for enrichment classes only out of necessity or if they have shown in interest in an area where I have no means of teaching them. J must be one of the rare children in his school without tuition in any subject.

I thank God for showing me what life should be about and it is certainly not about living for the self. I feel it is not even about holistic development as MOE has endeavoured to provide. Rather, it is about discovering one's gifts and using them to bless those around us. We should also do our tasks heartily, as unto the Lord and not unto men, while being guided and guarded by godly values.

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Happy Sunday. :)

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